June 27, 2009 - The Carlisle in Lomard

Well, we had ample material for an amusing blog post by the time load-in and set-up was complete, so take that for what its worth! I don't even know where to start with this one, so let's begin with some back story. Last August, we received a fully executed contract and deposit check from a bride I spoke with for no more that 30 seconds on the phone, and the deal was done. The months passed, and soon their big day was just around the corner. We had no contact or phone number, no idea what (if anything) we'd need to play for special dances and such, but we knew the date was good because the fine folks at The Carlisle had their poopy together and called me to talk about load in a few weeks ago. Anyway, I get a somewhat flustered voice mail from the groom-to-be the night before, wanting to confirm that we are coming. I call back and get his voice mail. My only question, I say, is special dances. He leaves me another voice mail and says don't worry, there's a DJ, too, and he's doing all that stuff. Wunderbar. End of 'Back Story'.

Cut to load in. Phil and Vince are first on the scene with the equipment, and are greeted by a DJ who seemed a little perturbed, and was shooting some attitude our way. Vince, who is his normal charming and persuasive self, introduces himself as the band.

dj I didn't even know there was a band until about an hour ago.

vc Oh. Well, there are 18 of us, so we're going to need some of that stage.

dj Well, I'm set as tightly as I can get, so the rest is yours.

vc OK, we'll make do.

dj Who hired you? When did they hire you?

vc We were hired a year ago, and didn't hear from them again until last night.

dj What?? Last night? Well, what parts of the reception are you doing?

vc I have no idea. All I know is we're here from 5:30 to 8:30.

dj You don't know? You just talked to them last night? I've had multiple detail meetings with the couple and the bride's mother. They've programmed me down to every song I play and at what time.

vc Hmmm. Sucks to be you, I guess.

dj Well, we're professionals. We've been doing this for 15 yrs. (editor's note - this will come back to haunt him)

vc Well, we're playing until 8:30, and then we're leaving.

And it sort of went downhill from there, but in an amusing way. We essentially played our first set

behind a giant projection screen that the dj placed directly in front of the stage to "test", before he

disappeared. No one seemed to mind. After 45 minutes, we took a break and watched in the lobby as the dj spent 20 minutes trying to bring order to massive bridal party. When it was time for us to play again, he was still introducing, so we got a front row seat from the stage for the 1st Dance fiasco.

Enter DJ number 2, who crouched in the middle of the dance floor with a dry ice machine and a red coleman cooler, trying frantically to make fog roll thru the couple and their bridal party as they danced. Only the fog didn't cooperate, instead it dissipated. Immediately. So he's scooping dry ice with one gloved hand, and waving with his other.

The smoke failed miserably, but what he did manage to create was a giant puddle in the middle of the dancers. The massive bridal party did their best to step over or around the growing mess, but it was of no use. Here we see the two DJs (left and middle) looking intently at the coleman cooler, with a bus boy in the back starting the clean up with a big tablecloth. The song ended, there was an uncomfortable smattering of applause, and the bus boys rushed out with mops for the clean up. It will certainly be a nice addition to the wedding video keepsake. I hope they got the cooler in the shot.

So three sets turn into two, as we decided to just keep playing to 8:30. Only now, the screen has been moved from out in front of us to in front of the seriously spectacular sweets table (which included an honest to goodness pond), much to the Maître d's chagrin. He wanted it moved, obviously, because nobody could access or admire the table. But the DJ has disapearred again, and there's no way we're touching it.

We finish the set without further incident, and we're breaking down while the DJs bring the screen back to show the standard video montage of the couple's lives. Only the DVD keeps freezing, so there's more uncomfortable silence. It all worked out in the end, though, because they're professionals.

So who played? Well glory be, our old friend Dave Zaworski was on bass! All the way from Sweden, incidently, so that should be a pretty healthy mileage deduction, Dave. And our trumpets? Brass Trax's Tom Fox finally gets invited to a gig, Tom Tumino, and the long lost Bob Lewandowski join Mr Klinger in the back row. We welcomed Robin Lekas in on piano. She performed admirably and with a good sense of humor through a tough night. Meg - if you're reading this, your book was in horrible condition!

Drink of the night was water - in little tiny glasses.